Adora-buddies are incredily cute, parasitic life forms that insist their cuteness upon humans for reproductive purposes.  Their hunger for cuddles has lain waste to countless worlds. Planet Partak 5 resisted their precocious attack and nearly wiped out the entire huggable race. Rick Pulsar rescued the last living adora-buddy, before his robot Gearloose burned it alive in what we can only assume was the cutest immolation ever.

Adventure Science is a branch of  scientific research that relies on dangerous, entertaining situations to further scientific progress. Unlike Boring Science, which is performed in a lab and uses the tedious Scientific Method, Adventure Science relies on spirit, justice, and courage to obtain its results. However, most Adventure Scientists are dead or disfigured by their 9th birthdays.

Currently, the AIDS virus resides in more than 36 million human beings, and 28 million cats. Though unseeable to human eyes, the AIDS virus's appearance is well-known among residents of the microscopic realm Subatomica. It is a feared beast, with 9 heads and hundreds of tentacles, each with thousands of acid-dripping claws.  It roams the microscopic countryside, attacking innocent germs and protozoa. The Germ Kingdom that resides on Rick's Floor once imprisoned an AIDS Virus for gladitorial combat, which was later slain by Rick Pulsar.

Anna-La (deceased) was a resident of Subatomica.  Though a germ, she was said to have been very beautiful, with glowing green hair, and smooth, infectuous skin. She briefly met and married Rick Pulsar during his 10-second visit to Subatomica, before she sacrificed her life to save her germ village. 

Apple Maggie is a cook and restauranteer whose chain of restaurants, Apple Maggie's Longhorn Steakhouse, is renowned throughout the Westen Quadrant of the galaxy. Apple Maggie is currently serving a life sentence in the Box for the murder of Bacon Jack. While in the Box, she began recording Outlaw Country albums, and has attracted a cult following across the stars. 

Apple Maggie's Longhorn Steakhouse is a chain of space restaurants very popular in the western quadrant of the galaxy. They're well-known for the Honey Fried Apple Tomato Poppers, and Cajun Broiled Jalepeno Deer Worms.

Bacon Jack (deceased) was a philanthropist and restaurantour. Bacon Jack invented the Cream Standard, the mean serving size of cream for the average cup of coffee. The Cream Standard is used throughout the galaxy, in all restaurants. He was killed by Apple Maggie, in Judge System's courtroom.

Bacon Jack's Honey Ribs Bistro is a chain of restaurants popular in space strip malls across the Western Galactic Quadrant. They are best-known for their Alligator Clam Sauce and Alabama Salt-Teased Barbeque Kale.

Betty the Space Horse is owned by the renegade adventure outlaw, Cowboy Pain. In the words of Cowboy Pain: "Boy, me and Betty sure been in a scrape or two, but there ain't another horse I'd trust to carry me across this dern galaxy. Course, there ain't another horse that could carry me across the galaxy. Come to think of it, I never did ask why Betty can breathe in space. Glad she can though."

The Big Screen is the primary display on the command bridge of Rick Pulsar's ship. The Big Screen is so important, all the furniture on the Space Bridge is arranged to face it. The screen allows Rick and crew to view other ships, the surface of planets, and the deepest stretches of space.The Big Screen does not, however, allow them to see into the women's restroom. That is only a rumor.

Billy is a brave little boy, whose dying wish is to take a ride through space. Through the magic of the Make-A-Wish Foundation, with a little help from Rick Pulsar and a magic space toad, his wish came true. As of this writing, Billy hasn't yet died. (Season 1, Episode 8)

Bird is a homeless animal who has diabetes, bird AIDS, and all of the drug addictions. You can find "Do Not Serve" photos of Bird behind the counter of every space methadone clinic in the quadrant. Bird claims to have been hatched under a bridge into a jar of hobo shit, but Bird was also high when she said that, so who knows. (Season 1, Episode 3)

Cake Moon is a lesser, artificial moon orbiting planet Relaxon.  It was created by Pleasure Goblins with the Decartes Gaming Console, a device that allows whatever you dream to become reality.  Upon seizing the console, thousands of goblins collectively imagined an enormous cake they could simultaneously eat and have intercourse with.  Since then, the cake swells in size even as the goblins continuously devour it, proving that you can have your cake and fuck it, too.

The Cloning Protocol is an experimental piece of Adventure Science used aboard Rick Pulsar's ship. His robot science officer Gearloose is the only one capable of executing the Clonging Protocol, to mixed results. For instance, Gearloose created a perfect clone of Kevin the Grizzled Choir Boy, but cloning John Lennon created a monster, albeit one whose work informed the zetigeist of rock and roll. (Episodes 1, 10)

Cloud 9 was a space pleasure cruise line, that was overrun by Pleasure Goblins decades ago. Before its fall, Cloud 9 was the greatest cruise ship in the universe. Food and drink replicators synthesized passengers' every desire, while its couples' swims were the most romantic in the galaxy entire. Only their theater shows were lacking. They rarely bought the rights to anything new, instead only spending for reviews and Tom Waits cabarets. (Season 1, Episode 10)

Harry Clyde spent twelve years selling hairbrushes door-to-door, until he promised a bald gypsy that his hairbrushes could grow hair on her head.  The gypsy cursed Harry to be bound to a demon called Malphas. Malphas has lived in Harry's stomach for the past 70 years, eating away his guts and letting them grow back again. The demon has ruined several sales pitches by spitting, cursing, and spraying Harry's blood across many a housewife's carpet.

Comets are glowing balls of energy that zip through space so fast they leave residual energy behind. This energy is sometimes bottled and labeled as "Comet Dust," which is sold to elderly aliens on Space QVC. It is possible to ride a comet, as demonstrated by American Immortal author Mark Twain.

Cowboy Pain is a lone renegade space-adventuring man of the open space range. He flies his horse Betty from system to system, helping the downtrodden and liberating planets from thugs working for the gas-mining company. He's the kind fo man who reminds us of a simpler time, when all a man had was his thoughts and the empty black pit of space to keep him company. Also, he banged Rick's mom. (Episodes S01E02, 10)

Coyote is a former "TV-talking space dog" who is currently owned by a space AAA tow truck driver. Coyote's exploits made him fanmous through the Saturday morning kids' show, "D.A.X. and Coyote."  While filming an adventure for the unaired final episode, Coyote encountered some kind of trauma, and hasn't spoken since.

The Decartes Gaming Console, named after Earth philosopher Rene Decartes, is an interactive video game system that creates hard light projections to create 10,000bit graphics.  Rather than using a controller, the console attaches electrodes to the gamer's brain. The system received 0 stars from Game Pro magazine, because every user who tries it becomes chemically addicted and never reacts with the outside world again. 

Dragon baby was the short-lived spawn of the Teen Maths Raps, QJ and Sojo. Because of their mixed alien biology, their spawn was a fire-breathing monster, Dragon Baby. Dragon Baby killed his mother Sojo upon its birth, then was shot down by Rick Pulsar and his crew. Given that both of its parents were members of the Teen Math Raps, we can only assume that--had Dragon Baby lived--it would have been an extraordinary mathematician. This is why every fetus deserves a chance at life, even if that life is feral and eviscerates its mother. Join the national right to life.

Dread Pirate Captain Stank is but one member of the Imperial Pirate Council, which rules the Dark Matter between stars. A sworn enemy of Rick Pulsar, Dread Pirate Stank constantly eludes capture. 

The Eon Laser is one of the deadliest weapons in the known universe. It was assembled in the core of a black hole. When the Dread Pirate Captain Stank comandeered the prototype weapon The Sun Stomach, only the Eon Laser could stop him. Rick Pulsar and his crew pursued, until being called away to jury duty.

The Five-Second Law, also known as The Sacred Five-Second Law and the Five Second-Rule, is a truce between the human race and germs. The truce states that if a human drops food on the floor, the germs must wait five human seconds to claim the food for themselves. Therefore humans have time to claim their food, and the germs have ample time to prepare the distribution of food among their people. 

Gearloose is the robot science officer of Rick Pulsar's ship. He was built by Rick himself, and can perform a variety of functions such as navigation, cloning, and defending the crew by violent means. Though quite kooky in appearance, Gearloose is a tenacious, some would even say passionate warrior, who relishes in the death of his enemies. Gearloose suffers from feelings of inadequacy common among home-manufactured robots. He is also in love with Rick's mother, and will murder you to win her affection.

The Germ Captain of the Guard has been a commander in the Germ Army for 30 human seconds. After Rick Pulsar and Rufus shrunk their size to travel into Subatomica, it was the Germ Captain who apprehended them. Though he is honored to serve Germ nation in the military, his primary passion is his music. He plays tablas in an a world-rock fusion band called "Smooth Infections." 

His royal baceterial highness, the Germ King, is the holiest of microrganic life forms. He rules over the kingdom of Subatomica with a benevolent parastitic eye. His leadership saved ten thousand quadtrillion pathogens during the Great Lemon Pledge Massacre. Unfortunately, the Germ King recently passed away at the hands of bleach.

Gorton is a vicious lava monster who hatches from a volcano once every thousand years to reign havoc on Planet Rutaar 4. Rick Pulsar recently landed on Rutaar 4 to fight the Gorton, but discovered he was two weeks early. Rather than waiting for the beast to awaken, he used adventure science to laser melt a tunnel into the Gorton's lair, where  he simply murdered the beast in its sleep.

Hellmouth Hospital offers the galaxy convenient, affordable health care, located conveninetly near a Hellmouth. Their pediatric ward is rated #3 in the quadrant, and the nearby gateway to Hell attracts specialists from all corners of the Underworld. Their staff is here to help, whether you're suffering from lymphoma, spinal pain, or from the agony of a thousand bats feasting on your flesh. Also, the proximity to Hell creates frequent time loops, so you'll get a second chance to live again and again.  

Hellmouth Hospital offers the galaxy convenient, affordable health care, located conveninetly near a Hellmouth. Their pediatric ward is rated #3 in the quadrant, and the nearby gateway to Hell attracts specialists from all corners of the Underworld. Their staff is here to help, whether you're suffering from lymphoma, spinal pain, or from the agony of a thousand bats feasting on your flesh. Also, the proximity to Hell creates frequent time loops, so you'll get a second chance to live again and again.  

The Junior Space Knights are an elite-corps of children and adults from across the galaxy. Wherever there is injustice, Junior Space Knights will be there. Not because they created the injustice, but to fix the problem and create space justice. Every Junior Space Knight has a button, a ship of their very own, and a personal letter from Rick Pulsar with their own membership number. Become a Junior Space Knight Today!

Judge System is an impartial judiciary bot, who is above the petty emotional concerns of most life forms. To Judge System, the pain of a mother losing a custody battle pales alongside the coming heat death of the universe. So it goes.

Keith Gardner (deceased) is the former boyfriend of Rick Pulsar's mother. He made a nice living at the shipyard, enjoyed Apple-tinis, and was sustained throughout his life by an abiding belief in God and universal justice. He believed this until the moment of his death, when he was eaten alive by sentient teddy bears.

Kevin the Grizzled Chorus Boy (deceased) was the oldest, saltiest background player in the Cloud 9 review of "Annie Get Your Gun." Cloud 9 was the greatest pleasure cruiser in the galaxy, but was notoriously thrifty when it came to their theater productions. Otherwise, an amatuer fisherman-turned-actor like Kevin would have never made it to the stage, outside of a Pizza Hut Karaoke night. Kevin was the lone survivor of the Pleasure Goblins' attack on Cloud 9, only to die a decade later whiel vacationing on Planet Relaxon. he was briefly cloned, before being burned alive and having his corpse desecrated by a robot.

Kyle is the one-hundred thousandth and eleventy-first Elder of Planet Relaxon, the 10,000 year-old resort planet.  Kyle is the highest authority on all matters, such as laws of the jacuzzi, lifeguard rotation schedules, and the sacred order of gum removal. Using his ancient wisdom, he has spread Relaxon rule of law, eradicating urine from the childrens' swimming springs.

John Lennon was an English musician and songwriter whose early work with the rock band, "The Beatles," is credited as the most influential music of the 20th century. Following the disolution of the Beatles, John continued to record music that defined his generation, while living in New York City with his wife Yoko Ono.  In, 1980, Lennon committed suicide by asking Mark David Chapman to assasinate him on the streets of New York.  Chapman, John's biggest fan, obliged. Lennon recently topped Rolling Stones list of "Top Assasinated Beatles."

Decades after his first suicide, John Lennon was ressurrected by a wish crystal. Seconds afterward, he stole a laser pistol and shot himself in the face. Using the DNA on hand, Captain Rick Pulsar ordered his robot to initiate the cloning protocol to ressurrect Lennon once more, in hopes of reuniting the Beatles. Unfortunately, the clone was born with its internal organs outside its body, and little of the original's musical talent. The clone's current whereabouts are unknown.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation grants the wishes of dying children, who may not necessarily die, but usually do. For more information or to donate, visit www.wish.org

Malphas is a mighty Great Prince of Hell, commanding forty legions of demons, second in command under Satan. He builds houses, high towers and strongholds, throws down the buildings of the enemies, and can destroy the enemies' desires or thoughts.  Malphas accepts willingly and kindly any sacrifice offered to him, but then he will deceive the conjurer. He currently resides in the higher intestines of hairbrush salesman Harry Clyde.

Mom is Rick Pulsar's mother. She maintains the ship, keeping it clean and preparing meals for the crew. Her brownies, in particular, are the envy of the galaxy entire. Though Rick doesn't know it, his mother is a very attractive woman who occasionaly takes a lover to stem the absolute lonliness of deep space.

The Moon is the only natural sattelite that revolves around the Earth. It is composed primarily of rock, but also of captured stardust and underground Nazi missile silos.  Many people ask, "why does the moon change its shape?"  Well, it's because of gravity, and the sun. That's why.

Nebulas are vast clouds of radioactive ions, with liberal political views.  When passing through a young nebula, starships are often asked who they plan on voting for, and if they have transportation to the polls on election day.  As the ions congeal and form star matter, they naturally become more conservative, and use their influence to block traffic to space abortion clinics.

The fifth planet orbiting the star Partak used to be a vibrant matriarchal society. For a millenia, Partakian mothers and wives selflessly ruled over the men.  It was a society that valued everyone's feelings, and never, ever farted.  Today, the planet is a barren wasteland, devastated by Adora-Buddies.  The planet's maternal instincts proved to be a fatal weakness, whereas a planet run by men would have acted decisively, disecting and eating the darling little teddy bears.

Planets are large spheres composed of water, gas, and solids. They typically orbit large spacial bodies, such as suns, stars, black holes, or fusion-powered space babies. There are a wide variety of planets in the universe, inhabited by an even wider variety of life.  Some are covered in ice, and are inhabied by crystal frost giants. Others are blaneketd in lava, and are inhabited by fiery rock giants.  It's important to note that every planet except for Earth has a singular ecosystem that covers the entire planet.  That makes it a lot simpler to remember which planets are which.

Pleasure Goblins are sharp toothed imps as tall as a VHS tape.  They are psychically drawn toward pleasure.  If pleasure goblins are at a party, they can collectively sense if a better party has started on the other side of the galaxy.  They are notorious party crashers, storming into venues to eat, drink, and inititae intercourse with whatever they can.  They gained control of the cruiseship Cloud 9, and were content to feed off the ship's replicators and holo-sex-machines for decades.  They were last seen orbiting planet Relaxon, using the Decartes Gaming console to imagine, then devour and hump, a chocolate cake.  The imagined cake has grown so large that has been named a lesser moon of Relaxon, and has begun altering the planet's tidal waves.

Pulsars are stars that appear to flicker, or "pulse" in outer space.  They do this because at the center of every pulsar there is the growing cosmic fetus of a space baby.  As the space baby's heart beats, the ion gases insulating it are dispersed into the inky void of the cosmic nether.  When the space baby finally hatches from its galactic whom, it creates a supernova that destroys all life within a million light years.  The space baby can then spend a million years feasting on the chain of death created from its Hot Birth.

Rick Pulsar is the galaxy's premiere Galactic Knight of Space Justice.  He travels the universe, helping those in need and fighting all manner of space-evil.  In addition, he is a brilliant space scientist.  The lower levels of his ship contain his Adventure Science laboratory, where he constructed his robot Gearloose.  Rick will continue space adventuring until all evil in the universe is vanquished, or until a rock beast finally kills him.

QJ is a galactic rap-matician who travels to high schools across the universe to get teens excited to do math! He totally does math freestyles, but also raps about teens keeping off drugs, cleaning their rooms, and showing their parents respect.  He also raps under the psuedonym "Beetch Fuuuuck," an has released an album about getting his bitch pregnant, and lighting a marijuana cigarette while his dragon baby, "takes a bite out'o that snatch."

Relaxon has been providing galactic amusement for 10,000 years. The entire planet is a single enormous resort, with their oceans converted into sailing marinas and their mountains carved out to create 5.000 foot-high waterslides. Relaxon has galactic fun for the whole family in our undersea sun kingdom, or for the single gentleman who visits to come in the sea.  

The environment on Relaxon is lovely and unspoiled. Our sentient dolphins are easily saddled and ridden across the oceans, while all our animals are kept safely muzzled or confined inside our zoos.  Uncooperative animals are ground into delicious honey powder, available at our gift shop.  You don't have to worry about seeing ugly people on your vacation, because our unattractive citizens are kept hidden from view, working deep in our singing cinnamon mines.  Don't delay, book our trip to Planet Relaxon and don't forget to give us a good review on Yelp. (This entry sponsored by the Relaxon Board of Travel and Tourism)

The Republicon nebula is a vast talking cloud of ionized gasses that strecthes across space for several hundred light years. The size of the nebula is surpassed only by its commitment to traditional family values.  While the Republicon Nebula slowly coalesces into a newborn star, its support for a strong military never wavers. Ships may freely pass through the Republicon Nebula, because it wants to promote free trade and travel across the galaxy.  Unless you're traveling to the space abortion clinic on its borders, then you may not pass, because the Republicon Nebula seeks to create a culture of life throughout the universe.

Rufus is the 1st officer of the Ship Storm, and Rick Pulsar's best friend. He is an alien, though no one has ever been able to identify his species (his race is known for gastro-intestinal prowess and incestual marriages).  Rufus is a skilled pilot, often steering the Ship Storm out of dangerous situations (such as asteroid belts, pirate attacks, and haunted houses.) Though Rick enforces a strict anti-drug policy onboard the ship, there are signs that Rufus doesn't always follow the rules.  He's several decades older than Rick, a cancer survivor with a price on his fur in a dozen systems.  He drinks whiskey from pudding cups, can lift a hundred pounds straight over head, and once ate a laptop.

Rutaar 4 is home to several thousand peaceful island chains, all fed by one central volcano.  Every millenia a beast named the Gorton hatches from the volcano to cover Rutaar in ash, until Rick Pulsar defeated the beast.  Rutaarians are a mystical people, who worship the spirits of the sea and earth.  These spirits don't want anything to do with the Rutaarians, because the Rutaarians are always acting all weird around them, asking for things and praising them.  According to the Rutaarian wind spirit, "Imagine you hung out with a group of people who were always telling saying you were great, then asking for stuff. It gets old.  Why can't they just be cool about it?"

The Rutaarian Shaman is the leader of Planet Rutaar 4, and the only member of the species to successfully communicate with the Rutaarian Nature Spirits, who are notoriously cliquey.  The Rutaarian Water God said of the shaman, "Yeah that dude's cool.  He gets it.  If I flood a village he doesn't act like a douche, he just shows up with a fresh offering of land-animal and fire, which is badass.  He's got a pretty bangin' wife too.  I might demand her as a sacrifice, or take human form before I take her human form, you get me bro?"

Sojo (deceased) is a former member of the Teen Math Raps.  Along with her partner QJ, she would travel throughout the galaxy teaching high schoolers about math and the importance of abstinence.  Unfortunately, she was killed after giving birth to a dragon baby, proving that abstinence is now and forever the only worthwhile birth control.

Outer Space is the cold black void that seperates planets and stars.  Space is so vast, there is no way for humans to comprehend it. Glakarians have a terrific comprehension of the infinite scope of space though. Glakarians are pretty much all around fantastic people. Seriously, I threw a New Year's party once and got way wasted on Borgnian Ale and passed out at like, eleven. This Glakarian dude just took over hosting my party, made sure none of my shit got torn up and broke up a fight in my yard before the cops showed up. Then he crashed on my couch and when I woke up the next day, my place was spotless.  We hung out in the garage drinking coffee, and he explained the vastness of the universe to me. Then we smoked a bowl and he took off. I love Glakarians. 

The Space Abortion Clinic has been helping thousands of species plan their families for hundreds of years. It rests on the borderlands of the Republicon Nebula, a glistening beacon to the galaxy's careless females. 

The Space Toad is an enormous interstellar amphibian who subsists on spacecraft stranded in his sector. It lives in a space cave inside an asteroid, and spends its time listening to Space AAA scanners, hoping to intercept stranded ships.  It then applies a mustard-based towing lubricant before scooping the trusting ships into its mouth.  It then transports the ship to its cave to devour them later. or feed to its young.  However, the journey to the cave is said to be a magical experience, revealing all the colorful majesty of the cosmos.   

Space Yoko Ono is an interstellar parasite that feasts off the artistic energy of others.  She is a giant cybernetic head, with slimy tentacles flowing from her neck.  She uses these tentacles to attach herself to ships, drain their power cells, and cause discord among friends who have known each other for years.  At last count, there were thousands of Space Yokos roaming the galaxy, breaking up every Beatles on every planet in the universe.

Stars are small points of light in night sky, that grow in size as objects approach them.  Stars can sense when eyes are approaching them, and they grow larger as a defense mechanism.  If one could travel faster than the speed of light toward a star, one could theoretically grasp the star when it is still small.  Adventure scientists are often asked, "What is the difference between a sun and a star?"  the answer is the distance you're standing from them.  As you approach a star, it expands into a sun.  

Some stars stay permanently large, because they are wombs for space babies.  As the babies grow, the star's light pulses, creating a pulsar.  

Subatomica is a wild jungle land that exists at the micro-subatomic level.  How to you get to subatomica?  Well, in a manner of speaking, you're there right now.  Subatomica is everywhere...underneath your feet, on your skin, caking that dirty sock under your bed.  Too bad this lush landscape is so small it's invisible to the naked eye.  However, if one were to shrink ray themselves to the size of a germ, you could see the full splendor of Subatomica.  The jungles beneath the fingernail, the bacterium pools of the underfridge, and herds of mites roaming the Great Pillow Plains.  Subatomica is ruled by the mighty Germ King, who led his people through the hardship of the Lemon Pledge Massacre and the Dark Bleaching of the Bathtub Basin.

The Teen Math Raps are the galaxy's #1 Teen Math Rap Team!  They travel across the universe, teaching teens how to use rapping for math, not doing drugs, and not doing sex to each other.  No space AIDS for you teens, abstinence is fab-stinence!  The current Teen Math Raps are: JoJo the Yoyo Boy, Dawn-Donnica, and Cool-jo Clyde. 

Tow Truck Driver (real name unknown) has a space garage in the Blue Creek system, and he's certified by space AAA to tow dilithium and lower class ships to the nearest service center.  He doesn't do much repairs at his shop, mostly scrap and chop deals, selling spare parts to shuttles passing through, or over the space internet.  He's got a wife, and dog, and a desk to call his own.  Not a bad life.

Wish Crystals are shimmering mineral blocks that grant a single wish to whoever is holding them. They are only found on Planet Ruleeton.  Though they sound like rare gems, on Ruleeton they are so abundant they are functionally worthless.  Ruleetonians don't even use them for a doorstop, because you can just hold one and wish for a doorstop.